in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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