i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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