Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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