i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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