I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize