I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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