I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize