he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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