fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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