best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize