i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize