Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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