Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize