i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize