You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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