I wannas sexs uuuuu
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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