I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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