They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize