If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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