It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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