Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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(269) 3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall http://tfl.nu/8qr4

Replies (7) Good night (833) Bad night (1956) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4

Replies (31) Good night (6072) Bad night (1961)
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(347): View more from New York

k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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(347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza http://tfl.nu/rg2w

Replies (31) Good night (911) Bad night (5141) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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(843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name. http://tfl.nu/s3qy

Replies (52) Good night (17018) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.

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(760): We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again. http://tfl.nu/a0p6

Replies (23) Good night (4304) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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(301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd

Replies (10) Good night (4020) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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(516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa

Replies (15) Good night (3638) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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(708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb

Replies (15) Good night (4541) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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(857): It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful. http://tfl.nu/xfy4

Replies (9) Good night (1962) Bad night (980)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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(978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj

Replies (2) Good night (1756) Bad night (482)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.

(314): View more from Missouri

Come down off the roof.

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(847): Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go. (314): Come down off the roof. http://tfl.nu/d3mp

Replies (3) Good night (1857) Bad night (561)
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(207): View more from Maine

It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.

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(207): It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast. http://tfl.nu/cal2

Replies (8) Good night (822) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.

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(207): I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time. http://tfl.nu/5zpy

Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos

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(814): The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos http://tfl.nu/br7k

Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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(423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x

Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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