I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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