oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize