too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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