This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize