i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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