lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize