I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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