Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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