yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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