I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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