How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So. Much. Porn.
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