After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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