Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize