my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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