do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
and you fell through a lawn chair
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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