now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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