I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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