Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use. http://tfl.nu/hbuk
  Replies (15) Good night (518) Bad night (2484) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker. http://tfl.nu/sreq
  Replies (8) Good night (3832) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp
  Replies (29) Good night (3641) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends. http://tfl.nu/ogdq
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (2379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1280) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (2911) Bad night (1376) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz
  Replies (5) Good night (2676) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us. http://tfl.nu/2qw1
  Replies (11) Good night (4729) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/jxf6
  Replies (14) Good night (1898) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (1863) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want. http://tfl.nu/gyya
  Replies (10) Good night (1830) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic http://tfl.nu/8ocy
  Replies (10) Good night (2304) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2446) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied http://tfl.nu/t1al
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (251) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt

Randomize