I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize