i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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