forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize