so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize