im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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