My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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