I'm so fucking centered right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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