you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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