Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize