just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
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Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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