Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize